About That Weight Loss (Part 5/6)

What You Can Do to Healthily Release the Weight

Welcome to Part 5 of About That Weight Loss. In Parts 1 and 2, I shared some of my own life-long struggle with weight loss and dysmorphic body image, in Part 3 I talked about how my self-loathing started to shift, and in Part 4 we looked at several reasons that our bodies like to hang onto weight.

(and just in case you were wondering when we were going to get back to business building salubriousness… it’s a good question that I have a possibly surprising answer to: we never left it.

whaaaaaaaaat? you see, how you do anything is how you do everything and when we right-size one part of our world, we develop the skills to right-size every other part.

when we develop the discipline and learn how to make a committed decision to change one thing, we build the muscles to change everything. I encourage you to look at this as one more way you can challenge your Self to become the person you are meant to be and you will see the positive shifts in your business.)

Today, we’re going to explore some possibilities for starting to shift that weight in a healthy way, and it isn’t going to be the normal ‘eliminate ALL the foods that bring you joy, exercise 2 hours a day, do fasting, eat nothing but carrots’ nonsense that you hear out in the world.

(nor is it, though I wish I could say it was true, ‘and she never had to worry about weight again’ but that isn’t the way this story goes)

What we are going to look at is the reality of decidingthat now is the time to ‘right-size’ your body and release the fat that has been protecting and shielding you for so many years.

First, I want you to go back to Part 4 and identify as many reasons as you can that you are holding onto fat. Then, I want you to explore them in your journal.

(yes, you’re going to need a journal for this)

Ignore the little demons who shout in your ear: because you’re lazy, not good enough, two left feet, no willpower, etc.

That’s all total and utter crap and you don’t need to acknowledge it anymore.

(unless you do. sometimes we need to get really real about just how oppressed we are within our own minds.

are you torturing yourself on a daily basis with ‘not good enough’ thoughts? if you are – and you probably are – it’s time to reach out and get support)

Decades of beating yourself up hasn’t worked, has it?

Nope. It hasn’t. So, let’s try something different.

For each reason that you might be holding onto weight (and typically it’s a complex mash of reasons), jot down a few sentences – or pages – about where you think that it comes from.

The abuse.

The bullying.

The parents.

The siblings.

The Church.

TV.

Magazines.

All of it. Dig in. How was your body image shaped?

Tell the story of your fat. You know it. Even if you don’t know you know it.

When you sit down and ask the question, the answers will be there.

Where do you store your shame?

Literally. Ask your body. Where do we store our shame? Point to it. Acknowledge it. Have compassion for it.

Here’s how you know where you store it: it’s the darkest, deadest, stillest part of you and it doesn’t feel good to go near it.

And, yes, we’ve all got it. It’s part of being human.

Get Support

Okay, little public service announcement here:

This isn’t work you have to do yourself. You are allowed to get a therapist, counsellor, coach to work through it with you. 

Don’t feel like you have to do it alone.

That’s just one more lie to throw on the trash heap.

(the trash heap? it’s over there and burns with a beautiful violet flame. just toss in that ‘gotta do it alone’ mentality and watch it burn. feels good, right? right.)

Okay, now that we’ve taken care of the mindset and limiting beliefs and fearful reasons that we have been keeping the excess fat on our bodies, let’s look at how to begin to shift it.

How to Right-Size Your Body, Once and For All

1) Make a decision NOW that you are ready to do this. Gently. Compassionately.

Choose life.

Choose love.

Choose to hang around on this great blue ball a little longer.

2) Let it evolve naturally. This isn’t a diet and you can take it slowly.

In fact, I’ve found that after the initial rush of rapid weight loss (because that is fun, isn’t it? it rewards ALL the neurochemical sensors in our brains so, yeah, addiction is the word we’re looking for), slow is the ONLY way to make change last.

Whether you’re changing your relationship patterns or your money patterns or your work patterns, the ONLY way to create lasting change is to take it slow and re-commit every day to creating something new. This is a permanent, new way of living, not a temporary bandage. Ease into it.

3) Explore what works for you and what doesn’t. What shifts the dial? What doesn’t create any shift at all? And, yes, I do believe in checking in to see if something has shifted in the numbers – most of us need that external reference.

Go see a Naturopath and get a food sensitivity test done. Nightshades? Brassicas? Beans? Oranges? Food sensitivities lurk in all sorts of supposedly healthy places and experimenting to eliminate the foods that hurt your body is part of this process. 

4) Add in habits before you subtract. Practice the discipline of eating something healthy every day. Yes. Every day. Is it a handful of carrots or an apple or … what? What is it? What can you add in to eat EVERY day as a discipline of showing up for yourself every day.

For me? It was flossing.

Weird, right? But, that’s what worked for me.

After a lifetime of flossing only when needed (y’know, those pieces that get stuck in the teeth? those.) I finally DECIDED that I was going to floss every day and I have.

It’s actually kind of amazing because I HAVE!

Now, some days I’ve hauled my butt back out of bed and flossed because I forgot but the important thing is that I have added it in and it has become habit. Now it is routine.

That’s what we want. We want healthy choices to become routine so you don’t have to rely on willpower to make them happen.

5) Focus on healthy, natural foods. Fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and meats. Get rid of the sugar and flour and processed food. Yes, it really does make a difference.

6) Do a bit of healthy, gentle exercise because you love your body and you want it to work well… not because you are dieting or to lose weight. That doesn’t work.

Fat is lost through a change in eating, not through punishing cardio workouts. (yes, weight training is a very good thing and so is cardio for that matter, but, right now, let’s focus on releasing the old, stagnant fat)

7) Drink loads of water. Have water close at hand at all times. Most of us are chronically dehydrated and that is not okay. It makes it almost impossible for the body to release fat and flush toxins if we don’t have enough water in our systems.

Put a bit of lemon or cucumber in it if you can’t handle the taste but figure out how to make it happen. My recommendation has always been at least a litre per day per hundred pounds of weight that you’re carrying.

8) Reduce your portions. Never go back for seconds. Use a smaller plate. Most of us have trained our bodies to expect much more food than we need and since our fat-leptin-insulin system is all messed up, our brains don’t get the signal that we’re full until it is much, much too late. Give yourself measured portions, eat them and then get on with your day.

9) Change your attitude about eating. Make it fuel, not joy. Food is fuel. Figure out where your joy is meant to come from and release it within you. Changing your eating habits should not decrease your joy – at all. 

(of course, if you’re like me, you will notice that you got food – and numbness – from food and once that stops it’s going to feel weird and uncomfortable. you can do it.)

Eat three times per day. Stop centring your life around the next meal or the next hit of sugar. Make a commitment to move food and eating to its proper place in your world – fuel for the life you want to live and NOT the culturally obsessed, food porn that we are exposed to every time we tune into media.

(and, yes, social media is absolutely part of this. pouring over pins for hours to find your next hit is not healthy)

In fact, your life will be dramatically healthier if you stop scrolling for a few hours a day and invest some time to figure out what makes your life worthwhile and what reveals your joy and go do that. And figure out what is draining your life and stop doing that.

10) Finally, allow yourself the occasional treat. Not once a day (that doesn’t work) and maybe not even once a week. But, if you happen to be at the birthday party of your favouritest uncle and they happen to serve your absolute favouritest cake, go ahead have a small piece.

Or maybe it’ll just be a few bites.

The key here is: can you stay mindful? Can you stay in your body and taste the taste that you are tasting?

Here’s how you know if your addiction is still in full swing: if you take ONE forkful, just to savour the deliciousness of it, and then suddenly the next thing you realize, you’ve eaten three pieces and now it’s 2 days later and you’ve eaten ALL THE THINGS then, nope, you’re not ready for it.

You’ve got more work to do. But, if you can savour a couple of forkfuls and think, yeah, that was totally worthwhile, and then stop because you love yourself more than you love that sugar rush… well, congratulations. You’ve arrived.

Or, maybe you’ll find that the taste really isn’t what you remembered and it really isn’t worth it. Much to my shock and amazement, I had this happen to me. After going without sugar and flour for a few days, I experimented with a couple of chocolate covered almonds (which I love! or loved… I guess)and, y’know what, I don’t love them anymore. They were just kind of ‘meh’ on my palate. So I don’t need to eat those anymore. Keen!

Experiment with your food. Commit to staying present with your food. Decide that you are worthy of health and feeling good in your flesh. And then go for that.

Wow! There you go. A firehose of 10 ways that you can de-centre food and make a commitment to feeling good in your flesh.

Stay tuned for our conclusion in Part 6. It’s the big secret about why you’re really hanging onto the pounds and what to do about it.