Otter Thompson: Meeting My Mirrors
Otter Thompson: Meeting My Mirrors
Having finished with Bartholomew, Walking Through Illusion
What does it mean to meet your mirror? According to Otter Thompson's dialogue with Jesus, for Paul it meant experiencing material lack when he tried to hoard his financial resources, or being taking advantage of by others when he lived in greed.
I've been thinking about this concept a lot, and noticing its presence in my own life. My own mirror has been reflecting as I explore the world of politics and community-building. Over the past few months I have come across a few people who, I have felt, have taken a dislike to me for reasons that seemed rather, well, unreasonable. I am the local Green Candidate and my logic has run something like this: 'They don't like me because I am a politician'.
It made sense to me that people would distrust politicians, even unelected Green ones. After all, in a recent trust survey, Reader's Digest reported that politicians were one of the least trusted professionals, only barely beating out used car salespeople, and finishing behind psychics.
And these are the people we select to run our towns, provinces, territories and our country. Wacky.
Anyway. It finally occurred to me on the weekend that I was actually experiencing the mirror for the lack of trust that I have in my own abilities. I consider myself a person of high integrity: I rarely lie, and I try not to hurt others. Indeed, the reason I am running is to protect future generations, as well as current ones.
But, yet, thanks to the tapes that run in my mind, I still don't trust myself. I have doubt. I question. I get mad at myself for not being perfect. And my mirror reflects that back. I encounter people who do not trust me and it resonates inside of me, causing feelings of guilt and shame. That is, until I can have a talk with myself and remind my mind that those feelings are not the whole story, or even the majority of the story.
So, following Otter Thompson's model, the lack of love that I feel for myself will naturally be reflected back to me in the people that I encounter.
It isn't easy for me to be a politician and I am learning that there are certain fundamental truths of politics. One of those is that without funding any attempt at a campaign victory will surely fail. Political campaigning is expensive and funds are required. And I need to become comfortable with that ask. Another is that emails and casual communications can be turned against you. I continue to learn.
When I do find peace with the roles that I have assumed, only then will my mirror be polished clean and, only then will peace be reflected back to me. This is a lesson it is taking me a long time to learn and it is one of the great lessons for me in this lifetime. Trusting myself, loving myself is a conscious decision that I must make every day.