Why I Choose to Believe…
Today, I wanted to take this special day to share a bit about why I have chosen to become a believer. I promise I’ll keep it short (y’know, -ish).
(mist off the water this Christmas morning)
I’ve worked with many clients who believed that the Universe was against them or that God hated them. Or that God was at best indifferent to them and that they were a meaningless pawn in a chess match that they would never understand.
They faced life as an adversary, expecting to be attacked at every turn.
I’ve worked with others who didn’t believe in anything ‘out there’ and who honestly believed that when they die… that’s it. I haven’t worked with many of those people, because it’s hard to believe you have a Mission and a Purpose when you don’t believe there is anything more, but I have done it.
These people faced life as a game, with no ultimate meaning or purpose.
Over the last decade and a half, I’ve gradually chosen to believe something very different.
I highlight the word chosen here because I’ve realized over the years that we each have to choose what we will believe in. What ‘story’ about ourselves and the Universe we choose to believe to be true.
(and I really want you to get that I did not grow up a believer, my house was not a believing house, and I had no intention of that ever changing… until I was pursued by the Divine)
I’ve learned through my NLP Coaching that we can change a belief that has shaped our lives for decades in about 5 minutes. From 100% true to 100% untrue. It sounds bizarre even to me as I write it, but I’ve done it and had it done to me. I’ve experienced how malleable our beliefs really are. How easy it is to change what we believe is true, when we decide we want it to change.
Ultimately, we get to decide what kind of a Universe we live in and what our place is in it.
We get to choose.
(what are you choosing this morning, beautiful soul?)
And, I figure, if we get to choose, why not choose a story that makes our lives better?
More fun? More peaceful? More joyful?
(just think about that… think about the misery that so many have chosen as they choose to live in Victimhood or persecution or despair or loneliness or… )
So, without further ado, here are 3 of the reasons that I have chosen to believe in God, in Christ, and in all the magical woo that goes along with it.
(did you know there was magical woo in Christianity? Oh yes, there really is!)
1 – I like to win. 😉
I admit it. I’m not too proud to pretend otherwise. I like winning and I like being on the winning side.
I’ve chosen to believe in a Universe where I am known and I am loved.
A Universe where good and love always win.
Where, in fact, they already have won and we’re just working out the time until the big finish.
We’re working out the time, and yet, what we do still matters. Every hair on our head is known and loved, every choice we make, every action we take… it all makes a difference and either advances a Kingdom of Love or allows a Kingdom of Darkness to continue to enslave the world.
Good and Truth and Light and Love have already won and what we do still matters.
(and this is one of the truly juicy paradoxes of Christianity that I just loooooove to wrap my hands and heart around… and those paradoxes are another reason I have chosen to believe and go deeper with my faith… I love a good paradox!)
For me, this realization required an expansion of my ability to hold polarities, and to realize that no matter how small I may feel, I am not insignificant. Which brings me to Belief #2:
2 – God uses ordinary, broken people like me to do great things.
All through scripture, ordinary people are tapped by God to change the world.
Rude people. Ignorant people. Hurt people. Lonely people. Bereft, barren, despairing people.
Why are they chosen?
Because they said, ‘Yes’. Because they leaned in.
That’s it. Not because they were the smartest, or tallest, or strongest, but, because they were willing to put aside their own ego goals and say, ‘Yes’.
I like knowing that I don’t have to be special (though I do like to thing I am a unique little butterfly)to be chosen. I just have to have a heart that is open and willing to say, ‘Yes’.
“Yes, Lord, here I am. Use me.”
(my little peanut Jesus) 🙂
The story of Jesus begins before time, but his incarnation begins with a young woman saying, ‘Yes. I am the Lord’s servant. Ready to serve.’
That kind of surrender? That kind of trust? That kind of divine alignment?
That’s a feminine power that I can get behind.
(at least, when I’m not too busy trying to micro-manage and control everything)
It’s also a power that requires trust and faith, and that can only happen when we truly lean in to Belief #3:
3 – God is good.
A major part of my Mission is working with a group I call the ‘church-hurt’. I’ve found that there are two main categories of ‘church-hurt’:
1) Those who begged God for something and didn’t receive it: the relationship, the child, the healing, someone to arrive, or someone to stay just a bit longer.
The individual situations are endless but they follow a pattern: they feel betrayed, unloved, and/or unheard by God.
2) The men and women who, in one way or another, have been wounded by someone claiming to be ‘godly’.
A minister. A congregation member. One of their parents or a family member.
Someone who said that they believed in God, that they followed God, and who then acted in a way most foul. A way so contrary to what a Christ-follower should be that it destroyed all trust and joy in the person on the receiving end.
Here’s where I always begin: people can be total asshats. They often are. Arrogant. Wounded. Angry. Depressed. Lost. Irritating.
Hurt people hurt people.
But that human tendency toward asshattery, despite what the voices whisper to us, has nothing to do with God’s nature.
A few years ago, my soul softened to the point where I could see and feel, for the first time, that God is good.
Period.
God is good.
The way it rocked and re-shaped my world was both subtle and profound – and the journey continues. I am still re-jigging my perception of reality to encompass a good God.
You see, stuff happens. People get hurt. People get sick. People die. People betray. People hurt. Sometimes those people are people we love. Sometimes those people are us.
We are soft, squishy flesh bags and so very easily damaged. Sometimes, it’s very, very hard to be human. Especially when we our hearts feel broken and we see the rest of the world rejoicing.
But, and this is the big shift I experienced, that is part of being human. It is inevitable.
That is part of the experience that we choose, being here on this physical plane.
And when humans are human-ing, God is good.
When we are hurt, God is good.
When things don’t go our way, God is good.
When our souls feel cracked open and we wonder if we will ever EVER feel joy again, God is still good.
When we reach out toward what feel like very lonely, distant skies and cry out, “Why?!”, the answer always begins with, “God is good”… and it always ends with “And God loves you and sees you and is with you.” Always.
For me, this realization has made human-ing a lot easier. When the pain and hurt and betrayal sweep through, as they must, I turn to a God that is good and loving and with me, and I rest in that while the human drama plays out.
So, this morning, as we move through our Christmas day, and we celebrate the birth of Jesus, or, as I did for most of my life, not give him a second thought because Christmas was about presents and Santa and sharing with family and not about a God who loved me so much that He was willing to give everything for me…
(and maybe this day is just another day to you and not special at all and that’s okay too)
… as we move through our day, from me to you, blessings and joy to you and your’s as you harvest what you have sown and begin to look toward 2019. It is always an honour to be part of your world and allowed into your inbox.
And if you ever need to talk, or sort it all out because it isn’t making sense any more and the way that you’ve always done things is hurting you too much to continue (yes, I’m talking burnout), I’m here.
I’m always here.
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Posted in: Daily Life + WisdomTagged as: belief change, Christian life, Christmas, itsannlpthing, Jesusismyjam